i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
