go do what you do best...puke behind churches
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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