It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
