He is such a slut. More and more my type.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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