Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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