Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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