Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize