He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
