It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
