were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
