I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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