he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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