You smell like stripper and shame
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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