I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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