No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
His nipple licking is glorious
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