i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
