i jhust puked up my retainher.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
