i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
