is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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