Who wears a wallet chain?!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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