I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
