And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
