I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
