I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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