Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Edward fifth and chaser hands
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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