her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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