ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
