I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
