just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
