she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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