tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
