Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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