i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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