Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
