How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
