mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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