I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
