you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
