I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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