he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
