He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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