I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize