Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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