Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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