FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
