how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
