'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize