Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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