ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
