Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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