eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize