It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
