I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
