I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
