Fuck appropriateness.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
