he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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