i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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