Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
