Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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