Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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