you will always have a special place in my vag
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
