question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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