I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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