Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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