oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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