hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
